Last July 2005 was the D Day of my life after years of pain and heartache emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally. In the last ten years I had separated, divorced, raised three children, worked, finished a degree and masters and was continually sick visiting doctors and hospitals more times than I care to remember.
For years I had suffered chest pains, stomach upsets and breathing disorders only to find after multitudes of tests, having a gall bladder removed and medications that it was all due to stress. Well after divorcing, raising kids, working and study no wonder I was stressed, but how could I deal with it. As a last resort I had gone to see a psychologist, again, after the doctor having prescribed two different types of anti depressants both resulting in quite pleasurable yet disturbing desires of suicide, which I am glad to say didn't bear fruit.
While I was quite an accomplished person and professional on the outside with a career path including positions such as Technician, Minister, Musician, Conductor, Company Director, General Manager, University Lecturer & Director, my inner life was one of turmoil. The major conflict coming to terms with and accepting who I was.
At the time of this crisis, in my life, I had heard about Anthony Venn Brown's book and coming to terms with his own personal struggle, which was not dissimilar to my own. I had known Anthony earlier on when he was directing Every Believer Evangelism. After an initial contact with Anthony he offered to help me with his personal coaching program.
The psychologist on, one hand was helping me come to terms with who I am, while Anthony's program was helping me evaluate the internal struggle with my belief and value systems, the core reason for my lack of self-acceptance. Weeks progressed and Anthony now tells me that after six weeks he was going to stop the program as I seemed to be getting worse and not better with most people experiencing some sort of pick up after around 4 to 6 weeks.
The crunch came when during the program I had to write two letters, related to my value system, one about where I was really at and then the following week write a letter about where I would be in fifteen years. On writing the letters I spent most of my time crying my heart out. Something happened inside me that changed me dramatically forever. At that time my psychologist was away on holidays and I had no other person with whom to discuss what I was feeling.
During that week my life changed and I accepted the fact that I am Gay and proud of it. The forty year struggle, particularly over the past twenty six years as a Christian and married man trying to live a duality and be something that I am not, had finally ended. This self acceptance brought amazing peace into my life and within a week of this decision most of my symptoms of sickness had gone. My children noticed an amazing change in me and when told had to accept who I was based on the physical evidence of my well being.
Anthony's approach whilst sometimes confronting and challenging made me think and make decisions about me and for me. Many times throughout life our value and belief system lays hidden and shaped by external parameters and people. Through Anthony's coaching I was able to see what I truly believed and valued and work through the outcomes of being who I truly am. If it were not for his intervention in my life coupled with discussions with my psychologist I wonder whether I would still be around to tell the story.
Life is now a wonderful journey that I have only just started to appreciate. Bring it on.
PL
Australia
For years I had suffered chest pains, stomach upsets and breathing disorders only to find after multitudes of tests, having a gall bladder removed and medications that it was all due to stress. Well after divorcing, raising kids, working and study no wonder I was stressed, but how could I deal with it. As a last resort I had gone to see a psychologist, again, after the doctor having prescribed two different types of anti depressants both resulting in quite pleasurable yet disturbing desires of suicide, which I am glad to say didn't bear fruit.
While I was quite an accomplished person and professional on the outside with a career path including positions such as Technician, Minister, Musician, Conductor, Company Director, General Manager, University Lecturer & Director, my inner life was one of turmoil. The major conflict coming to terms with and accepting who I was.
At the time of this crisis, in my life, I had heard about Anthony Venn Brown's book and coming to terms with his own personal struggle, which was not dissimilar to my own. I had known Anthony earlier on when he was directing Every Believer Evangelism. After an initial contact with Anthony he offered to help me with his personal coaching program.
The psychologist on, one hand was helping me come to terms with who I am, while Anthony's program was helping me evaluate the internal struggle with my belief and value systems, the core reason for my lack of self-acceptance. Weeks progressed and Anthony now tells me that after six weeks he was going to stop the program as I seemed to be getting worse and not better with most people experiencing some sort of pick up after around 4 to 6 weeks.
The crunch came when during the program I had to write two letters, related to my value system, one about where I was really at and then the following week write a letter about where I would be in fifteen years. On writing the letters I spent most of my time crying my heart out. Something happened inside me that changed me dramatically forever. At that time my psychologist was away on holidays and I had no other person with whom to discuss what I was feeling.
During that week my life changed and I accepted the fact that I am Gay and proud of it. The forty year struggle, particularly over the past twenty six years as a Christian and married man trying to live a duality and be something that I am not, had finally ended. This self acceptance brought amazing peace into my life and within a week of this decision most of my symptoms of sickness had gone. My children noticed an amazing change in me and when told had to accept who I was based on the physical evidence of my well being.
Anthony's approach whilst sometimes confronting and challenging made me think and make decisions about me and for me. Many times throughout life our value and belief system lays hidden and shaped by external parameters and people. Through Anthony's coaching I was able to see what I truly believed and valued and work through the outcomes of being who I truly am. If it were not for his intervention in my life coupled with discussions with my psychologist I wonder whether I would still be around to tell the story.
Life is now a wonderful journey that I have only just started to appreciate. Bring it on.
PL
Australia
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