I no longer want to be fragmented

Reading an article about your journey, I felt empathy with your life, sexuality and also the struggle with your faith. I have been married for nearly 30 years and have two great children that are now young adults. It is fair to say most of my married years have been spent in denial and with some "roller coaster" times as a result of my same sex attraction, infidelity and the sexual dysfunctionality of our relationship. Despite these things most of my life has been a happy one.

I am on a journey of discovery, having lead a double life and have come to the realisation that I am a gay married man. My sexual experiences over the last year confirm what I never really wanted to accept. You may remember, at our first meeting, I described being on a runaway train wondering at which corner/time I might derailed. Also coming out of a period of experimenting and sexual addiction, I was feeling emotionally unable to continue. I needed clarity and to be in control of my actions.

Your presentation of the "what to do" seven step options challenged me to look at the big picture and the ripple effect my choices have on my partner, children, church and business relationships. It was good to think about this in greater depth. My initial reaction and priorities have changed as you walked me thru that process.

Our last two meetings have refined the actions I will take not only with my wife but the men in my life. The clarity I’ve received has meant I have committed myself to a calendar of conversations with my wife. How others will respond is unknown but I am now better prepared for those discussions and the eventual outcomes. I am also better placed to understand what her reactions might be and to ensure that "honest, open and respectful" is the basis of our relationship whatever it may be.

In my straight life I am a person of integrity and respected by others. In my other life I lie and cheat. During our discussions and through your coaching I feel encouraged to be honest, open and respectful of my wife, children and friends. I no longer want to be fragmented

David